Dark As the Sky...

Quarantine blues are a thing! The other day, I did a google search of various topics. My anxiety has been running rampant for a few weeks and I've been feeling the blues, which led me to to looking up quarantine fatigue. This article offered some insight as to some of what I've been feeling. 

I am tired, worn out, bummed out and just burned out. I know it's safe to go out and do things, but besides running to the grocery store, pet store or Target, I don't go out much. We order in food quite often. I should go to the storage unit and sort through things. Honestly, if we tossed everything out, I'd feel almost better about having so many "things" that we never used or don't need. BUT, there are things I can't let go. One day Lily can go through it all and toss it. I'm sure her generation won't care about Nambe, brightly colored Fiestaware, thousands of antique and vintage Christmas ornaments, LPs, boxes and boxes of books, photographs and other memories that mean nothing to her. I think it's easier to go through other people's things and let it all go. 

That's what I've been doing. Though my mom is still very much alive and thriving for the most part, she will probably never come live with us again and probably won't every be lucid again. I've pared down some of her things-- mostly thing that had been eaten by moths, maybe mice. I feel guilty for throwing out things that meant something to hear once upon a time. She has so many clothes that I know she will never wear again, but I can't let them go. 

Self-care has gone out the window. Not much else to say.