Sunday, September 9, 2007

Spiritual Renewal

Spiritual Renewal.

I just came back from making the annual procession to the Cross of the Martyrs. It's the last event of the annual Fiesta. The fiestas have always had a religious aspect, but most people participate in the secular stuff, the burning of Zozobra, the two parades, the fashion show, the parties, balls, melodramas etc. But originally, the Fiestas were just religious-- they still are-- but they seem to get overshadowed by everything else. I've never done the religious celebrations. Tonight Mom, who in her 70 years or so of living, had never participated in the candlelight procession. I've spent the whole day with her and it was quite lovely. Anyway, we met the rest of our "parish" (we aren't officially members of the church we attend. I think we're still on the rolls at the Cathedral Basilica but that's where we felt most comfortable) in front of the the cathedral to walk up to the cross of the martyrs to complete the fiestas. It was an incredibly beautiful and spirtual moving experience. The marachis' played and we song the old, beautiful Spanish songs which I grew up with, it was a pretty solemn walk but it was truly fun too. Of course, I hate walking in processions because EVERYONE WALKS SO SLOW. I have no patience for little strides. But that's ok. At the top , there was a service, supposedly ecumenical, but it's truly obvious that this is still largely a Catholic town.

My family has been part of Santa Fe/Northern NM for over 400 years. It's been really wonderful participating in the old traditions of my family and renewing my faith in the spiritual and religious traditions I grew up with as well. I hope that I do have a child or two to pass down my culture, my history and even my faith to among other things.

Hmmm... also, I saw a really attractive guy tonight. He actually looked a lot like what I envision one of my characters to look like in my novel. :::sigh:::

This is what it looks like by day. There is some good history

Also, I must show this to my mother: "I wonder if other dogs think poodles are members of a weird religious cult." - Rita Rudner

Friday, September 7, 2007

Just for a Moment...

I feel confident and fearless. Most of the time, I'm a ball of insecurity and a wreck. I'm thinking of making some pretty major life changes-- switching careers, having a baby, the fitness thing-- I waver from actually committing to do it and back to my comfort zone of status quo of not doing a thing different.

Problem is my status quo right now isn't a very happy place to be. A job change would be great. I could fuel my passion for words, a baby would bring worlds of joy and excitement to my life, also some stress and drama, but all good and of course fitness, that's just a given and a necessity. But it's so easy to stay in the comfort zone... even though I don't want to. I know the answer. It requires a change of thinking, a way of life and a way of making a living.

I haven't been sleeping. I think I'm drinking too much black tea at night, so the caffeine keeps me awake, but I have so many thoughts drifting through my head that I think that is what is keeping me awake. I wonder if other writers write in their minds like I do? Sometimes, it drives me crazy, but since I was a kid I've always been making up stories, most of them manage to make their way to paper/computer, but it's always an ongoing process.

Thursday, September 6, 2007

Fall has arrived... so let's burn him already...

Live Stream of Santa Fe's Annual Pagan Festival. Hee.

I didn't want to go with 18k of my nearest and dearest to the park this year to watch the burning of Zozobra. I do like to go from time to time, but it might have been a good time to go, as I'm a bit doomy and gloomy. Blech.

Here's the history of the old man gloom.

Saturday, September 1, 2007

Quiet Reflections...

My favorite time of year is swiftly approaching. I love the fall. I love how the light bends and casts a g0lden hue over the earth. I love crisp, cool days, where it's chilly enough for a light sweater but warm enough to drink an iced venti chai outside on the patio at Starbucks. Today, we had a rain shower and even in my high off the ground 4Runner, I needed an ark. It's such a shame that all that rain that falls pretty much washes away. Eventually it makes it to the arroyo but I don't think much of that water gets recaptured, which is truly a shame.

So... I thought this was going to be my spiritual, mostly Catholic Blog, but I may transition over my personal, more quiet reflections from LJ over to here. I suppose if I put it as catholic with a little "c" it could be my "universal" blog. Hee!

The excitement of the whole world of fangirl blogging and fandom is waning for me. It's been about 11 years I've been a fangirl. It's hard to believe that probably 11 or 12 years ago I first got on the Internet, discovered the world of Alt.TV.Highlander was my hangout for many years. I met some fabulous people because of that TV show. I dragged my best friend into the fandom and we made many good friends. Some I still talk to just about everyday. Who says the Internet is bad?

Internet dating. So not going to happen for me.

Speaking of Highlander. The 4th movie, probably the worst of the bunch, but it has my boys in it, will air this month. So... I don't forget it comes on SciFi channel Sept. 15. I need to turn my DISH back on. I've had it off most of the summer. Yikes.

On Monday, I have to sit down and redo my resume and cover letter. I'm going to apply for a job with, believe it or not a regular salary. Part of me wants to stay in real estate very badly, I love the flexibility the profession gives me, but I want to have a child one day and I would like to have the stability of a regular pay check, plus benefits and health insurance. Being a grown up is so hard, but being a grown up and thinking about having a totally helpless, totally dependent child is overwhelming and exciting at the same time.

So, I'm in the midst of making some big life-changing decisions. Oy.

When it clears up I shall head out and take my walk. I'm going to do a fitness challenge from Self Magazine. It's five days of exercise. Three walking two strength training. By the end of the first month, I should be back in the habit of exercise. I'm not looking to drop much weight the first month but maybe I'll start feeling fit and strong again. That is what I really want to achieve. Sure weight loss is another goal but I don't want to do this to lose weight as much as get fit. I think they both go hand in hand, however, I'm not aiming to be a skinny mini. I'll never be that. I'm naturally too athletic for that. I'm tall and not little boned. I build muscle pretty fast.

Remind me... heh... to ask the doctor to measure my height when I go in for a check up near the end of the year. I really believe I'm 5'7" but sometimes I think I'm taller.

Anyway, this challenge has four goals. I'm going to try to tackle them, a different one each month so by the end of December, I hope my body is ready for the next step.