I feel confident and fearless. Most of the time, I'm a ball of insecurity and a wreck. I'm thinking of making some pretty major life changes-- switching careers, having a baby, the fitness thing-- I waver from actually committing to do it and back to my comfort zone of status quo of not doing a thing different.
Problem is my status quo right now isn't a very happy place to be. A job change would be great. I could fuel my passion for words, a baby would bring worlds of joy and excitement to my life, also some stress and drama, but all good and of course fitness, that's just a given and a necessity. But it's so easy to stay in the comfort zone... even though I don't want to. I know the answer. It requires a change of thinking, a way of life and a way of making a living.
I haven't been sleeping. I think I'm drinking too much black tea at night, so the caffeine keeps me awake, but I have so many thoughts drifting through my head that I think that is what is keeping me awake. I wonder if other writers write in their minds like I do? Sometimes, it drives me crazy, but since I was a kid I've always been making up stories, most of them manage to make their way to paper/computer, but it's always an ongoing process.