Tuesday, May 29, 2007


I'm not quite sure why I linked to this Ask Sister Mary Martha: post about The Infant of Prague but, I do have a new fondness for the Infant of Prague. I think in many ways it's not so unlike our devotion to La Conquistadora. (See links on sidebar for more info.) I like that it has origins in Spain and made its way to Bohemia as a wedding gift for the young princess, who was Spanish but married into a Bohemian (Czech) family. So, maybe for some reason that's what I find so fascinating. Devotions have long been a tradition of the Catholic faith and still continue today. It is not worship. I think it's comforting that as well as praying to God directly, we can also ask the saints, and those others in heaven to offer prayers for us. It's comforting to know that we can turn to the saints and petition for their intercession on our behalf.

(image from wikipedia)

Saturday, May 19, 2007

Since I'm in a writing mood.

Random Shakespearean Insult of the day:
Thou puny ill-breeding knave!

Yes, it's another horrorscope.

You may be tempted to hide something of value today in order to make sure you have enough for another day. You could be saving money, but you might also be unwilling to commit too much time and energy toward a particular project. There's more to this than your fear of scarcity; it's likely that you just aren't ready for the next step. Don't let anyone talk you into something that brings up feelings of uncertainty.

That one is true. I have a deal I need to work on, but I'm having a hard time putting it together. It would mean a nice little paycheck, one I can use right about now, since this economy sucks. Next week I'm going to put together some query letters and see if I can get back into some free-lance writing. I certainly could use some extra money and my brain could use some challenge. I'm just very nervous to approach editors and publications, especially since I have no fresh ideas. What I need it to find a gig where I can be assured so much work at a time that's enough to keep me busy.

I have pretty teriffic friends. On Thrusday I was treated to an early birthday lunch. L. gave me seeds for the garden to plant and K. gave me some books. One's a writers market for short stories and novels, and the other is The Writers Block. It's fabulously cool and I will use it.

I really appreciate all my friends. B. and I are taking the dogs tomorrow for a walk and we'll catch up on life then. Growing up and in college I had friends. I'm not sad that I've left most of those friendships behind. I don't think they were truly meant to be my friends forever. I see a few of the girls I went to college with from time to time and I enjoy them thoroughly. I know I should make a bigger effort to see them more often. They're fun. Then there's C. my best friend. I don't really know what's going on between us. I don't know if we're losing our friendship or if we're both in our own little worlds and are just changing. I should make another attempt at a phone call. Hopefully she'll call back. Our birthdays are next weekend, I truly hope it's just real life getting in the way.

(Since this is my seekrit blog she probably won't see this post.)

Back to what's going on today, if the phone will stop ringing, perhaps I'll get some writing done. As I told L. just a little while ago, I'm glad I'm popular today, but I wish it was someone calling about real estate. That phone doesn't ring much these days. I've had Saturdays when my phone doesn't ring and I'm not doing anything fun, productive or exciting... today since I've taken the day to write, everyone wants me. Too bad it's not the fabulous guy I have a crush on.

It's getting cold now and I'm not going to take the dogs for a walk. I may just start heading to the gym to get my walking done. As it is, I keep the house locked up tight. I've never thought of myself to be paranoid but I'm seriously on edge right now. Damn news.

Wednesday, May 9, 2007

Today's Horroscope....

Nothing is quite as impossible as it seems, for you may feel a bit more pessimistic than usual. The emotions that are holding you back, however, can also contain the seeds for your forward movement. Don't accept defeat under any circumstances, even if your confidence is weak. Remember, today's actions set the stage for next week's transformations.

Ah, what can that be?

Tuesday, May 8, 2007

Life in My Head

So... today, I finally figured out my character names and finished up most of my family tree for my novel universe. I'm still trying to get unstuck but I think I need to leave things alone for a while and work on something else while the scenarios work themselves out.

I got three hours of sleep and finally feel better. So, after Law and Order SVU, I think I'm heading off to bed. Hopefully tomorrow I can make it to the gym. I plan on going to MLS and then my office.


Ok... I've settled on pink as my template for this blog. I've learned to embrace the pink in my life, whatever that means.

So, this is my secret, quiet place. I don't expect any excitement around here. I started this blog because I've been reading a lot of other blogs on the blogosphere (not on LJ) and I decided to get my own so that I could comment or say hello in the event that I wanted to. Most of what I'm reading 'round here are news related or Catholic related. I'm not sure I'm going to through whole reversion process because yes... I have issues, but I've gone to Mass quite a few times since Easter and it's actually been a good experience. I'm actually a bit frightened by what some of my so-called issues are really non-issues. Though, sometimes, I wonder if there is a way to be socially and politically progressive and go back fully to a faith that seems to be changing so much, to be more akin to the conservative Christians, whose philosophies frighten me a bit. I truly think that politics and religion need to stay separate. I hate how the two have merged so much in this country. I think one can practice religion (or not) and have a social and political life, that doesn't involve one's faith. I think one should. Call me naive or irrational, but I believe it's possible.

Maybe I'm not thinking clearly as it is two am and I can't sleep or maybe I'm just thinking rationally and know that I will always have issues and that's that. Perhaps I'll work through them.

I don't know where this all started. If it was something I was thinking about before I started my new novel or if it was something that came up as a result of it. Why did I ever give "Isabel" a twin brother who was a priest? I can't tell you the difficulty that has arisen just because of that. Not that it's a bad thing. It works for the character and I think I've created the right motivations and circumstances for him to chose his vocation. I want him to reflect a real person, just as I do Isabel-- and her issues. I think it's perfectly possible for two people to grow up in the same household and become two very different people. (I'm an only child, so maybe I'm wrong.) But I think her issues with her brother's choices for his life are very valid and very real. As the story develops, I see her growing and coming to accept and understand him for who he is, and I think he'll always accept her and love her sins and all.

It's funny how a short story that was supposed to help me heal a broken heart has changed into something so much more. I've practically dropped the initial plot point. I'm having a hard time trying to figure out where to fit it into the story now that story has changed so much since I started. I don't think there's room for that little scenario in the grand scheme of the story. I've already written a sequel to this novel-- though it's really the prequel--- but it has to be read afterward, as it ruins the big surprise in Isabel's story.
And that really came out of the fucking air. I couldn't believe it when I wrote that scene. It went from sappy chick lit to angsty drama in one quick sentence.

I've also created a whole universe based upon the characters (the female characters) in these three stories. Wouldn't it be cool to write four different stories based on these women? (Four sisters, their daughters, and their experiences.) My own version of Little Women. Heh.

I'm sort of in a weird place tonight and cannot sleep. I have a feeling I'll be dragging all day long tomorrow/today. I'm used to getting to bed at 2:00 these days. I've been writing or reading what I've written and so I'm not just sitting up doing nothing these late nights.

I have to admit that my stories are taking on a life of their own. I don't know if I can contain my characters. I should really try to sleep as I have to be up in 5 hours.

So far tonight I've tried the sleep thing twice, once at midnight and once at 1:43. Both times, while tired, I laid there unable to shut my mind down. 1. I have PMS. 2. I remembered something and it made me sad. 3. I have other stress, both rational and irrational stress going on right now. 4. I'm out of Sync with my sleeping habits. 2 is my bedtime these days. As I've been writing or editing, I've lost track of time. I don't have a lot of business right now and so I'm spending more and more time writing.

I think I'll take one of the dog's Benedryl tablets (Yes, they get the Benedryl for their allergies while I'll take Claritin) and hope it makes me drowsy. Maybe I'll function at a reasonably decent speed tomorrow.

Sunday, May 6, 2007

Like I need another blog...

Well, I have one now. I'm thinking perhaps this might be my quiet place in the blogosphere.

It will probably serve just to entertain me and my mindless ramblings.

If someone finds me and wants to read, that's cool by me. Feel free to say hi.