I think this blog is shaping up to be the place where I talk about Catholic stuff as well as my real life. I think I'm on the verge of going back to the Church on a regular basis, not just on Holidays, weddings, and funerals. The only problem I have is on the little corner of the world that's the Internet. On blogs, forums, websites, I see so much disdain for liberal Catholics from fellow Catholics. I can't even contemplate all the anti-catholic crap I've encountered out there, but it's there too. I just hate to see all the disdain coming from one Catholic about another. I am a bleeding heart liberal in whole sense of the world. I keep my feelings about religion and politics separate. I don't take religion into the voting booth, nor do I take politics into the church. However, I support those liberal causes many of my fellow Catholics deem unacceptable and today I read a commentary on forums and other places on the Internet that liberal Catholics should just leave the church because they can't accept all and everything the church teaches. I've seen it before and I could find links, but there's no point... I'm sure one good google search will find posts in the same vein.
Nonetheless, it pisses me off because I never once grew up to hear that message. I really hope that these messages are from a very small and vocal minority. These are many of the folks who are excited about the Latin Mass returning with fewer restrictions, which is fine with me, I think there is plenty of room for TLM and the Novus Ordo. I grew up post Vatican II. I've never attended Mass in Latin. I'm sure it's a very beautiful thing and I don't think that the Pope is trying to take the church back in time, but I don't anticipate attending TLM, with the exception of checking it out every now and then. I think easing restrictions on its use is probably a good thing. I do think many people from my parents' generation, many from the baby boomers and even my fellow GenXers' are looking forward to attending TLM. I am not a traditionalist--as I said-- I'm a liberal and I find that the New Mass, which is said here, is quite lovely. I think it's done with reverence and respect. Most of our hymns are in Spanish, so we don't usually get all the touchy-feely stuff the conservatives seem to complain about. I've read the hymnal, I don't disagree at all with them on that one.
I guess the more I think about coming back to the faith, something invariably drives me away.
I think I need to stay off the Internets!
I don't want to be another religion because for me Catholicism runs deep. It is both spiritual and cultural and I can't separate the two. As frustrating as it is sometimes, I find myself at church knowing it's where I belong, it's what I believe and feel and it doesn't matter that I'm a liberal. Sunday at Mass was a baptism and it was lovely to see and hear all those babies. I kept thinking, and now I'm praying for the day, that I will be up there with my own baby being baptized, on a glorious Sunday like it was the other day. I want to share my faith-- culturally and spiritually-- with a child of mine. I really can't wait for that day and yes, I pray for that day.
So, I know I can't go off and leave the Catholic church and become something else. No other church can be so much a part of my culture and my soul as the catholic church.
How this post went off on such a tangent, I don't know. I still didn't say the things I really wanted to say. I may one day articulate why I'm a liberal and not a conservative.