So even the days when I was a marginally practicing Catholic, honestly, more of a lapsed one, I still managed to recognize the importance of Lent. I'd give up something, usually nothing significant. Last year, mid-way through Lent I quit drinking Diet Cokes-- or buying them to bring home anyway. This year, I've been giving Lent some thought and am not quite sure what else I'll do besides give up "Starbucks". Since Christmas, I've pretty much have given up my daily fix because I was trying to give up caffeine for other, more private reasons which I won't discuss here, and so it won't be so hard, but I could easily spend 4 to 6 bucks every couple of days there, so after 40 days, that's a pretty good savings. I can buy the Tazo Chai to make my lattes at home. The money that I save by not going to Starbucks, I can put in savings and then donate it after Lent to something worthwhile. I could save it for myself, so I can learn to save money. It's not much, but it would be a good discipline for me.
Of course, I could save it to buy something special. I've been wanting a new rosary. It's not like I don't have one, I do. It is plastic, it glows in the dark and is hanging on my bed and has been since I was 16. I had one that belonged to my grandfather when I was a kid, but I don't recall what happened to it. I think it's in my mom's jewelry box. I had a plastic one that I got from school when I was about 12. It's long gone. I can't imagine throwing it away but it was misplaced long ago.
Growing up, we were a Church on Sunday kind of family and as I got older it became a less and less occurrence. We didn't do much beyond that. I went to a public elementary school, so the only CCD I had was just what was required for First Holy Communion. I had been confirmed as a young girl and didn't take any more religious education until I went to junior high and high school, when I went to a Catholic school. We never prayed the rosary, did Eucharistic Adoration or did any of the First Friday's sort of thing. The only time I ever pray the rosary is at funerals. We didn't eat fish on Fridays during Lent and it was hard for me because I hated fish growing up. We'd eat shellfish because I did like lobster and crab. ;-) Now, I love salmon and crave tuna, so it's not a problem. I can live without meat.
So this year, things are different. Yes, I want to give up something, Starbucks is altruistic enough for me to give up, but I also want to do something. I was going to make one of those New Year's Resolution posts, but I never did. And Ordinary Time was so short as Ash Wednesday falls this week, so I thought I'd just save it for Lent. I'd like to really learn to pray. I don't think it's an art or anything, but I just don't know how to do it. I know many prayers and I meditate and I guess talk to God but I don't think I really know how to pray or what should I pray for.
Maybe get more involved at my parish. Maybe take advantage of some of the opportunities to study and grow in my faith there. I haven't really figured out what. I guess, like with a lot of what I do, I don't like just being a face in the crowd. I want to get involved, maybe I'm ready for that. There's a singles thingy at the end of the month and I am mildly interested in going.
I don't know what I'm looking for right now. I don't know if I'll find it here/there/wherever but I'm searching for something.
I suppose in time I'll figure it out.
Monday, February 4, 2008
Thursday, January 31, 2008
Junk Mail...
So today in my newspaper box, just below my mail box there on top of the Realtor newsletter from a fellow Realtor in my neighborhood was a copy of The Watchtower. Usually it hits the garbage as soon as I take it out of the box, but it intrigued me today because on the cover was a picture of Notre Dame in Paris, (I'm pretty sure it was ND. It could have been another Cathedral that looks a lot like ND) and so I skimmed through it. Inside there were a couple of intriguing pictures, one was a procession, probably Greek Orthodox or Orthodox because as they were walking in the procession they were carrying very Eastern looking Icons. Anyway, the caption said something like: would God approve of such a spectacle, then there was another photo, it looked like a Catholic priest saying Mass for US soldiers in Iraq and the caption was something like was this appropriate.
As I skimmed it, I didn't find anything overly interesting or thought provoking, but there was an article about how parents feel with a child leaves Jehovah. It reminded me of articles I've seen lately about parents of Catholics whose children are leaving the faith. I guess parents in every religion lament the loss of their child leaving the faith.
In general, the tract didn't offend or even interest me. The only reason I looked at it was the cover shot of a Catholic church and I wondered if I'd find any anti-Catholicism inside. It may have been there, but overly subtle, and I didn't read long enough to really find out.
I'm still very fortunate that where I live and grew up I haven't encountered much anti-Catholicism. I've had Evangelical acquaintances try to invite me to their services, but when I tell them I'm not interested, they haven't pursued.
When I was a kid my baby sitter was a JW. I adored it when she'd come stay with me because she was so much fun. She was probably 5 or 6 years older than me and most of the kids in the neighborhood. She'd tell us stories about the Great Teacher etc. I guess she was going through Sunday School or whatever it's called and felt compelled to share what she was learning with the younger kids. It was quite entertaining to hear her stories. I was probably going through CCD at the time too, so I was also learning my Catholic faith. I certainly think that I was learning a lot then from the sisters who taught our CCD classes at the parish school. I didn't attend Catholic school because we had moved and it was quite a long drive for my mom then. Perhaps my parents felt like they couldn't afford it then. I've never really found out why I didn't go to the parish school, we certainly went to Mass every week when I was little... but I digress. I remembered her stories well. My parents never told her not to stop-- I guess they didn't worry too much that I'd convert. I do remember talking about what my babysitter was teaching me (and the other kids in the neighborhood) and telling my parents then that I'd never want to be a JW because they didn't celebrate Christmas and Easter like we did as Catholics, but what really convinced me not to convert at such a young age was that they even celebrate BIRTHDAYS. I just couldn't fathom not having birthday parties and getting presents. (I am an only child. I always had great birthday parties and got lots of presents.)
Of course as I grew up, I learned more about my Catholic faith, maybe not as much as other kids who did go to Catholic school then, but when I got to high school, I went to a Catholic school and felt like I got a pretty well-rounded education. Though I probably missed out a lot because I was not confirmed in junior high with the rest of my classmates.When I was born, infant confirmation was still in practice in our archdiocese so I was confirmed as a child. Growing up I had two Godmothers. My mom's sister baptized me and my dad's was my confirmation sponsor. Had I not been confirmed as an infant, I would have probably learned a lot more.
Of course, then sometime in college, I drifted away from the Church. I'd go from time to time with sorority sisters. We'd always seem to get Ashes for Ash Wednesday, but I wasn't a regular church goer then. It took a while for me to come back to the faith. Oddly enough, I feel as though I haven't left it. (with the exception of a few things we didn't have back when I was in high school-- female altar servers, liturigcal dancing and as much lay participation but it doesn't bother me to the point that it distracts me from what's happening at the altar.) In fact, thinking about any future children I may have one day, girl or a boy, I'd strongly encourage them both to be more involved in the church and yes, I'd let my daughter be an altar server and would hope that my son would want to as well.
Well, this is a nonsensical post in the sense that I couldn't sleep and wanted to try to compose some of the thoughts running in my head. I should know better.
As I skimmed it, I didn't find anything overly interesting or thought provoking, but there was an article about how parents feel with a child leaves Jehovah. It reminded me of articles I've seen lately about parents of Catholics whose children are leaving the faith. I guess parents in every religion lament the loss of their child leaving the faith.
In general, the tract didn't offend or even interest me. The only reason I looked at it was the cover shot of a Catholic church and I wondered if I'd find any anti-Catholicism inside. It may have been there, but overly subtle, and I didn't read long enough to really find out.
I'm still very fortunate that where I live and grew up I haven't encountered much anti-Catholicism. I've had Evangelical acquaintances try to invite me to their services, but when I tell them I'm not interested, they haven't pursued.
When I was a kid my baby sitter was a JW. I adored it when she'd come stay with me because she was so much fun. She was probably 5 or 6 years older than me and most of the kids in the neighborhood. She'd tell us stories about the Great Teacher etc. I guess she was going through Sunday School or whatever it's called and felt compelled to share what she was learning with the younger kids. It was quite entertaining to hear her stories. I was probably going through CCD at the time too, so I was also learning my Catholic faith. I certainly think that I was learning a lot then from the sisters who taught our CCD classes at the parish school. I didn't attend Catholic school because we had moved and it was quite a long drive for my mom then. Perhaps my parents felt like they couldn't afford it then. I've never really found out why I didn't go to the parish school, we certainly went to Mass every week when I was little... but I digress. I remembered her stories well. My parents never told her not to stop-- I guess they didn't worry too much that I'd convert. I do remember talking about what my babysitter was teaching me (and the other kids in the neighborhood) and telling my parents then that I'd never want to be a JW because they didn't celebrate Christmas and Easter like we did as Catholics, but what really convinced me not to convert at such a young age was that they even celebrate BIRTHDAYS. I just couldn't fathom not having birthday parties and getting presents. (I am an only child. I always had great birthday parties and got lots of presents.)
Of course as I grew up, I learned more about my Catholic faith, maybe not as much as other kids who did go to Catholic school then, but when I got to high school, I went to a Catholic school and felt like I got a pretty well-rounded education. Though I probably missed out a lot because I was not confirmed in junior high with the rest of my classmates.When I was born, infant confirmation was still in practice in our archdiocese so I was confirmed as a child. Growing up I had two Godmothers. My mom's sister baptized me and my dad's was my confirmation sponsor. Had I not been confirmed as an infant, I would have probably learned a lot more.
Of course, then sometime in college, I drifted away from the Church. I'd go from time to time with sorority sisters. We'd always seem to get Ashes for Ash Wednesday, but I wasn't a regular church goer then. It took a while for me to come back to the faith. Oddly enough, I feel as though I haven't left it. (with the exception of a few things we didn't have back when I was in high school-- female altar servers, liturigcal dancing and as much lay participation but it doesn't bother me to the point that it distracts me from what's happening at the altar.) In fact, thinking about any future children I may have one day, girl or a boy, I'd strongly encourage them both to be more involved in the church and yes, I'd let my daughter be an altar server and would hope that my son would want to as well.
Well, this is a nonsensical post in the sense that I couldn't sleep and wanted to try to compose some of the thoughts running in my head. I should know better.
Coke Light - Have A Break!
I shamefully admit that I totally find this video more amusing than I should... of course... it's all just fantasy.
Saturday, January 19, 2008
Tom Cruise Knows...
He just knows. I'm not one to mock anyone for his or her religion, as I happen to be a member of the one Church that always seems to get bashed with tons and tons of anti-Catholic vile, but this speaks for itself. It's the Tom Cruise, the Scientologist Story. From what I gather, it was a video made to talk about his experiences as a Scientologist to be used as a recruitment tool and he looks totally sincere as he relays his message. After watching this, does this mean he and fellow Scientologists believe they can save people from just about everything-- dying in car accidents, crime, drugs? Can they save the world from Global Warming? Disease? Hatred and Intolerance? War? Since I didn't understand what he said, I found this Scientology Glossary to help translate what Tom said.
Should we all sign up? That power must be amazing.
I guess Tom's people and the Church of Scientology are a bit pissy that the video has hit the Internets and aren't too pleased that Andrew Morton (the one who wrote about Princess Di) has written a bio about Tom.
A friend told me about it and looking for a distraction I had to go find it. Man, he's weird. That was cheesy weird and definitely wouldn't indoctrinate me into the world of Scientology. My priest will be pleased to hear that, though two weeks ago at Mass he said we should look for new ways to come to God, of course he also said that didn't mean checking out the other churches down the street, where they are aplenty... a non-demoniational, a Baptist, a Methodist and the JWs. Eh, I'll stick with Catholicism. At least it's rational and sane. ;-)
:::Sighs:::: Now I'll never be able to watch my favorite, albeit cheesy movies with Tom Cruise in them and think about how I adored him so. Also? Why didn't someone tell me that Chachi (Scott Baio) had a reality show on VH1. Man, he's 46, married with a baby girl now. Oy. What happened?
Should we all sign up? That power must be amazing.
I guess Tom's people and the Church of Scientology are a bit pissy that the video has hit the Internets and aren't too pleased that Andrew Morton (the one who wrote about Princess Di) has written a bio about Tom.
:::Sighs:::: Now I'll never be able to watch my favorite, albeit cheesy movies with Tom Cruise in them and think about how I adored him so. Also? Why didn't someone tell me that Chachi (Scott Baio) had a reality show on VH1. Man, he's 46, married with a baby girl now. Oy. What happened?
Tuesday, January 15, 2008
Monday, January 14, 2008
Just putting this link here for a reminder that I want to do something with it later. And this one too.
Related to above sentence.
At 2 p.m. on Sundays, the Rev. Arthur Jakobiak celebrates Mass in Latin at the San Miguel Mission, 401 Old Santa Fe Trail. The Mass is supported by the Latin Mass Community of Santa Fe and is approved by Archbishop Michael J. Sheehan and the Archdiocese of Santa Fe.
Sunday Mass is celebrated in the traditional liturgy at 5 p.m. at the mission.
Related to above sentence.
Latin service
At 2 p.m. on Sundays, the Rev. Arthur Jakobiak celebrates Mass in Latin at the San Miguel Mission, 401 Old Santa Fe Trail. The Mass is supported by the Latin Mass Community of Santa Fe and is approved by Archbishop Michael J. Sheehan and the Archdiocese of Santa Fe.
Sunday Mass is celebrated in the traditional liturgy at 5 p.m. at the mission.
Tuesday, January 1, 2008
Oh Come, Oh Come, Emmanuel.
The anticipation of Christmas usually starts for me in late November. I'm not the kind of person who digs out the Christmas Tree and puts it up the weekend after Thanksgiving, I don't go shopping on Black Friday nor do I get it done early in the year. Christmas is more to me than presents, bad fruitcake and sappy Christmas music. (There are some songs that I just want to know why the hell they were ever recorded. Gag me with a spoon!) And while I've always recognized the birth of Christ, lately it was almost forgotten in the midst of all the hype. This year, I really dwelt on His birth and the meaning of His life to the world. I thought about things I hadn't thought about in a long time and I totally felt like Christmas meant something again. From the first day of Advent, through today, the Solemnity of Mary, I totally listened, felt it and absorbed it all.
Yes... I still liked the part about the presents. I loved spending time with my family and friends, decorating my tree (which I got up late and may not come down till mid-January. It's fake), but there is so much more to Christmas when you stop and reflect on what it all means. Sure you can celebrate it in a non-religious, secular way without thinking about Joseph and Mary and their arduous journey to Bethlehem, you don't even have to think about the baby Jesus laying in a manger on that morning to celebrate Christmas, but I can't. I never could. From the minute my mother pulled out her aunt's nacimiento (nativity set) with its many pieces, I'd find myself totally fascinated by miniture representation the Birth of Christ. I'd secretly play with the pieces (she has all the stable animals, a few shepherds, a host of angels, the Magi and of course the Holy Family. She would decorate with lights, tree branches and fake snow. I'd play with it in secret, reenacting the story of the nativity as I knew it as a child. I haven't thought about that memory in a long time, but I've always known what Christmas was all about. As I grew older, I got my own set, one of those commercial sets sold at Price Club (Costco-- as it's called now) It's pretty, but nowhere as charming or meaningful as my mom's set, which my great aunt collected piece by piece from dime stores like Woolworth or TG&Y stores. For a long time I put up my set, just like Mom did with the boughs, lights and fake snow, but it wasn't the same. I'd put it up when I'd do the tree, then later on Christmas Eve as that seemed more "authentic" and finally a few years ago I stopped putting it up. It was just another decoration to lug out of the garage. This year, as I've grown stronger and have renewed my faith, I put up a nativity, but it's not the one from the garage. A bit before Christmas my dad bought me a new set-- it's by a local Santero (an original I couldn't afford) I really like. While it's a mass production piece it's still quite beautiful and has meaning to me. This set, at least the nicho and the Holy Family will probably never go into the garage for a 11 months in anticipation of the next Christmas. So... while I won't play with the pieces and reenact the nativity, I have that feeling again.
Yes... I still liked the part about the presents. I loved spending time with my family and friends, decorating my tree (which I got up late and may not come down till mid-January. It's fake), but there is so much more to Christmas when you stop and reflect on what it all means. Sure you can celebrate it in a non-religious, secular way without thinking about Joseph and Mary and their arduous journey to Bethlehem, you don't even have to think about the baby Jesus laying in a manger on that morning to celebrate Christmas, but I can't. I never could. From the minute my mother pulled out her aunt's nacimiento (nativity set) with its many pieces, I'd find myself totally fascinated by miniture representation the Birth of Christ. I'd secretly play with the pieces (she has all the stable animals, a few shepherds, a host of angels, the Magi and of course the Holy Family. She would decorate with lights, tree branches and fake snow. I'd play with it in secret, reenacting the story of the nativity as I knew it as a child. I haven't thought about that memory in a long time, but I've always known what Christmas was all about. As I grew older, I got my own set, one of those commercial sets sold at Price Club (Costco-- as it's called now) It's pretty, but nowhere as charming or meaningful as my mom's set, which my great aunt collected piece by piece from dime stores like Woolworth or TG&Y stores. For a long time I put up my set, just like Mom did with the boughs, lights and fake snow, but it wasn't the same. I'd put it up when I'd do the tree, then later on Christmas Eve as that seemed more "authentic" and finally a few years ago I stopped putting it up. It was just another decoration to lug out of the garage. This year, as I've grown stronger and have renewed my faith, I put up a nativity, but it's not the one from the garage. A bit before Christmas my dad bought me a new set-- it's by a local Santero (an original I couldn't afford) I really like. While it's a mass production piece it's still quite beautiful and has meaning to me. This set, at least the nicho and the Holy Family will probably never go into the garage for a 11 months in anticipation of the next Christmas. So... while I won't play with the pieces and reenact the nativity, I have that feeling again.
A Sundry of Things.
Nearly a month ago I logged on to read my syndicated feeds on my LJ and was a bit saddened to read that one of the blogs I enjoy most is ending its run. Probably a little over a year ago, I was doing some research for my second novel. (I have one that's 3/4th finished, another probably 7/8th finished and one that is about half done, the second.) One night I found myself googling up information about the Catholic Priesthood. I believe my search string was something about the daily life of a priest and I found Father Jim Tucker's blog and a post he made on the subject. I then started reading his blog and found myself enjoying it quite immensely. Now, I am a cradle Catholic, who drifted in and out of the faith for some of my adult years, but I had a decent Catholic education so I thought I knew a lot about the faith-- well, I've learned a lot in the last year or so as I've been reading and researching for my story. I've definitely found a lot of insight, information and history in his blog. He's eloquent, smart, honest and someone I think worth knowing in real life. Also, a hell of a lot smarter than me. ;-) I was not a commenter or really interacted with him, but his blog is greatly appreciated. Through his blog, I've discovered great resources and other blogs of interest, which is good, however, when he announced last month that he posted his last post, I was a bit bummed to see that he's leaving the blogosphere, but it's totally understandable as I've been on LJ for nearly 6 years and have started growing wearing and tired of journaling myself. There is only so much fangirl squee I can muster these days.
I've only started on blogger this last year, this journal is pretty much a big secret as I don't really to it or announce that it exists on public forums. As I pretty much stated in one of my first entries this is my quiet place while I explore "real life" things and my faith. On LJ, I have a writing journal, which I rarely update and a fandom journal. I know many of the people on my friends list in "real life" and it's pretty much the only place I stay in touch with them these days, so that's why I haven't left LJ, but I don't post all that often
these days. Most of my deep thoughts I save to post over here and sometimes I don't even do that.
Posts about my faith have been really few. It's interesting because there are lots of interesting things I stumble upon or feel like sharing, but I guess I'm just not ready to post about it. I haven't updated my blog roll yet. There are definitely a lot of blogs of note that I read, but I've been too lazy to make mention of them yet. Maybe this year, I will try to do that.
I've only started on blogger this last year, this journal is pretty much a big secret as I don't really to it or announce that it exists on public forums. As I pretty much stated in one of my first entries this is my quiet place while I explore "real life" things and my faith. On LJ, I have a writing journal, which I rarely update and a fandom journal. I know many of the people on my friends list in "real life" and it's pretty much the only place I stay in touch with them these days, so that's why I haven't left LJ, but I don't post all that often
these days. Most of my deep thoughts I save to post over here and sometimes I don't even do that.
Posts about my faith have been really few. It's interesting because there are lots of interesting things I stumble upon or feel like sharing, but I guess I'm just not ready to post about it. I haven't updated my blog roll yet. There are definitely a lot of blogs of note that I read, but I've been too lazy to make mention of them yet. Maybe this year, I will try to do that.
Saturday, December 8, 2007
Ah, words... sometimes they fail me...
So, a little before my last post I started working at one of the local papers. I knew it was a temp gig and that I was only filling in for the person who was out on sick leave. I hoped it would go through the end of the year but she came back on Monday. Man, you don't know how bored I was on Monday when I didn't go in to the Newsroom. I made my mom go shopping with me and did all sorts of stuff just to keep myself busy. At first the thought of working full-time was daunting and I kind of dreaded starting a new job, especially while I was still working at real estate. I am ready to give it up, IF and that's a huge word right now, something opened up for me at the paper. I'm hoping to get a shot at free-lance writing and I hope that I can prove to myself that I can still do journalism. (I can't believe I'm full of self-doubts about my writing. I write every day... fiction, not news.)
While there are things I really like about real estate, I'm not passionate about it, I'm not overly good at it and I'm definitely not self-disciplined enough to really make a career out of it. I'm kind of scared about the freelance writing gig as well. As long as there is work, I'll be able to do it, but I need to have a daily routine to keep me in the groove.
I have lots of balls in the air at the moment, I hope they all don't come crashing to the ground at the same time.
While there are things I really like about real estate, I'm not passionate about it, I'm not overly good at it and I'm definitely not self-disciplined enough to really make a career out of it. I'm kind of scared about the freelance writing gig as well. As long as there is work, I'll be able to do it, but I need to have a daily routine to keep me in the groove.
I have lots of balls in the air at the moment, I hope they all don't come crashing to the ground at the same time.
Friday, November 16, 2007
The Things I Never Knew...
The Vatican has an observatory and an official (well retired) astronomer. I wonder if he has a replacement? Interesting.
I think one of my biggest fantasies is to wander the many rooms and buildings inside and around the Vatican, its library and private collections just to see what's inside.
I think one of my biggest fantasies is to wander the many rooms and buildings inside and around the Vatican, its library and private collections just to see what's inside.
Wednesday, November 14, 2007
Little steps
After about 6 months, maybe a little less, I finally became a member of the church where I've been going. I've never been a member of any parish on my own as an adult. This past weekend I signed a pledge that I'd support the church a certain amount every week. When it all comes out, it's not all that much per year, (I really can't afford a lot) and I don't mind giving. I just realized that if I'm going to promise to give the church money, I should "officially" join. I've been wanting to join for many other reasons as well.
My parents were a member of the "Mother Church" downtown for their entire lives. They may still be on the record books as being members. I was baptized, confirmed and made my first communion there, then I graduated from high school and pretty much stopped going to church. I'd go from time to time at the Newman Center at College with my sorority sisters and friends, but I wasn't part of the community. I didn't really feel like I needed the church in college.
Like one of my characters, I felt (back then) that it was antiquated and far too conservative for me. Yet, I have always believed in something. I'm not going to deny the fact that I'm a political liberal and sometimes feel a bit at odds with the conservative nature of the church especially as a whole. BUT... I'm also not so sure that priestly celibacy is a bad thing and while I'm a feminist, I don't accept the notion that women should be priests. Right now they cannot and probably never will be in my life time, but I don't think that's such a bad thing either. (Funny, how just a few years ago I thought I'd like to see those two things change one day, but in now I don't.) Yes, there are married priests in the Catholic church-- they've come from other religions and have been dispensed of the requirements of celibacy. I'm sure they are assets to the church and I accept that. I'm glad they are part of our church. The enhance it and probably make it a lot better. Maybe one day celibacy will be an optional thing and maybe it will work. I just am (surprisingly) more traditional than I thought. I'm not big on hand-holding during the "Our Father" or all the other gestures that seem to have come to the church since the days I went away. I've yet to see liturgical dance, Mom says it does happen in our parish, and I might just cringe at the sight of it, or maybe I'll go with the flow and accept it for what it is. Who knows?
The priests at my church are quite orthodox, quite human and reverent. I don't go around looking for mistakes or liturgical abuses, (as so many people seem to do and complain about in Catholic forums, blogs and newsgroups Oy vey... that's a whole other post.) that's not why I go to Mass. I go to hear the words of God and the Lord read, celebrate the sacrifice of the Mass and listen to what words father has to say that day. They're usually always right, thought provoking or pertinent to what's going on in the world today. I've never heard a light and fluffy homily yet.
So while I'm also very fond of tradition, I am also fond of the open mindedness and tolerance of my local archdiocese. It's progressive, while rooted in tradition, culture and history. It embraces and accepts, rather than rejects and casts aside. That's probably why I am able to practice Catholicism. I'm probably naive enough to think it's like that everywhere, but probably cynical enough to know otherwise.
Despite the "lost years", I've always felt Catholic. I have been around other faiths enough to know they don't fit. Catholicism, to me, is like a comfortable pair of old slippers. Always there and always comfortable. No matter how bad I feel come the end of the day my slippers always fit. I can pretty much walk into any Catholic church and find something I need: peace, soothing words, God, love... so...after all these years I've joined the parish where I've been going. I joined under my own name and we'll see where I go from there.
Back to my characters. It's interesting in how in one story one character goes back to the church and the other, probably never will. She will always be Catholic but I don't know if that particular character will find herself fully and wholly Catholic again.
The other interesting bit about this, my characters are first cousins (main characters in their own stories respectively). If anything my stories show where I've been in the last ten years I think.
My parents were a member of the "Mother Church" downtown for their entire lives. They may still be on the record books as being members. I was baptized, confirmed and made my first communion there, then I graduated from high school and pretty much stopped going to church. I'd go from time to time at the Newman Center at College with my sorority sisters and friends, but I wasn't part of the community. I didn't really feel like I needed the church in college.
Like one of my characters, I felt (back then) that it was antiquated and far too conservative for me. Yet, I have always believed in something. I'm not going to deny the fact that I'm a political liberal and sometimes feel a bit at odds with the conservative nature of the church especially as a whole. BUT... I'm also not so sure that priestly celibacy is a bad thing and while I'm a feminist, I don't accept the notion that women should be priests. Right now they cannot and probably never will be in my life time, but I don't think that's such a bad thing either. (Funny, how just a few years ago I thought I'd like to see those two things change one day, but in now I don't.) Yes, there are married priests in the Catholic church-- they've come from other religions and have been dispensed of the requirements of celibacy. I'm sure they are assets to the church and I accept that. I'm glad they are part of our church. The enhance it and probably make it a lot better. Maybe one day celibacy will be an optional thing and maybe it will work. I just am (surprisingly) more traditional than I thought. I'm not big on hand-holding during the "Our Father" or all the other gestures that seem to have come to the church since the days I went away. I've yet to see liturgical dance, Mom says it does happen in our parish, and I might just cringe at the sight of it, or maybe I'll go with the flow and accept it for what it is. Who knows?
The priests at my church are quite orthodox, quite human and reverent. I don't go around looking for mistakes or liturgical abuses, (as so many people seem to do and complain about in Catholic forums, blogs and newsgroups Oy vey... that's a whole other post.) that's not why I go to Mass. I go to hear the words of God and the Lord read, celebrate the sacrifice of the Mass and listen to what words father has to say that day. They're usually always right, thought provoking or pertinent to what's going on in the world today. I've never heard a light and fluffy homily yet.
So while I'm also very fond of tradition, I am also fond of the open mindedness and tolerance of my local archdiocese. It's progressive, while rooted in tradition, culture and history. It embraces and accepts, rather than rejects and casts aside. That's probably why I am able to practice Catholicism. I'm probably naive enough to think it's like that everywhere, but probably cynical enough to know otherwise.
Despite the "lost years", I've always felt Catholic. I have been around other faiths enough to know they don't fit. Catholicism, to me, is like a comfortable pair of old slippers. Always there and always comfortable. No matter how bad I feel come the end of the day my slippers always fit. I can pretty much walk into any Catholic church and find something I need: peace, soothing words, God, love... so...after all these years I've joined the parish where I've been going. I joined under my own name and we'll see where I go from there.
Back to my characters. It's interesting in how in one story one character goes back to the church and the other, probably never will. She will always be Catholic but I don't know if that particular character will find herself fully and wholly Catholic again.
The other interesting bit about this, my characters are first cousins (main characters in their own stories respectively). If anything my stories show where I've been in the last ten years I think.
Sunday, November 11, 2007
Quiz Time...
I'm headachey...
So why am I taking quizzes? I should lie down till dinner.
So why am I taking quizzes? I should lie down till dinner.
You are 87% educated in Catholic truths!
Wow! You are totally educated in the Catholic faith. A real genius! Have you thought of teaching the faith to others? Be sure to share your wealth of knowledge with those who need it.
Catholic Truths
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You are a 92% traditional Catholic!
Congratulations! You are more knowlegeable than most modern theologians! You have achieved mastery over the most important doctrines of the Catholic Faith! You should share your incredible understanding with others!
Do You Know Your Baltimore Catechism?
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Friday, November 2, 2007
Boo! You Scared Yet.
So... I'm glad to know that I'm a Catholic and a relatively sane one. I have the "documentary" channel on my DISH line up and just saw (passively) a documentary on some Evangelical church (probably in the bible belt) about the "Hell House" it does every year. I've seen news pieces on these alternatives to haunted houses and yes, they scare me... not because I'm worried about my soul or anything about that because I don't find any truth in that sort of message.
I've also read an interesting thread on a Catholic news forum. I've believed nor was lead to believe that there was anything intrinsically evil about Halloween. (I don't like dressing up in costume-- I didn't as a kid, I don't know. I don't care for costume balls either) but I enjoy watching kids in their costumes, passing out candy is a lot of fun and I know if I am lucky enough to have my own child one day, I will do the Halloween scene with my kid)
But lately, I've read more about how Halloween is evil, Satanic and just not at all a good thing. There is evil that happens on Halloween, but I believe it's man-made evil, which has nothing to do with Satan. I believe True Evil exists but I don't think that it all comes out on Halloween. It's all around us a, but I also don't believe that "the Devil made me do it" is the eve before All Saints Day and it's not a bad thing.
Their version of Christianity is not what I believe nor what I grew up to believe as a Catholic. I don't believe that I believe blindly nor do I feel like my faith (and religion) is any better-- Catholicism has its faults-- but it just makes so much more sense to me. To others, it doesn't, but I wasn't taught to hate, condemn or judge anyone when I was growing up. I know other non-Catholic Christians who feel and believe just as I do, but some of these Christian Extremists, as I think that these folks are, exist only to create fear and hate, not love and peace which should be the true message of Christ. I just found myself sitting here perplexed at all the effort these Christians put into these "productions" when they could be doing something so much productive than using scare tactics to evangelize.
Updated: I read later, that the creator of Hell House came from Roswell, NM (I believe) so... it didn't realy come from the bible belt per se.
I've also read an interesting thread on a Catholic news forum. I've believed nor was lead to believe that there was anything intrinsically evil about Halloween. (I don't like dressing up in costume-- I didn't as a kid, I don't know. I don't care for costume balls either) but I enjoy watching kids in their costumes, passing out candy is a lot of fun and I know if I am lucky enough to have my own child one day, I will do the Halloween scene with my kid)
But lately, I've read more about how Halloween is evil, Satanic and just not at all a good thing. There is evil that happens on Halloween, but I believe it's man-made evil, which has nothing to do with Satan. I believe True Evil exists but I don't think that it all comes out on Halloween. It's all around us a, but I also don't believe that "the Devil made me do it" is the eve before All Saints Day and it's not a bad thing.
Their version of Christianity is not what I believe nor what I grew up to believe as a Catholic. I don't believe that I believe blindly nor do I feel like my faith (and religion) is any better-- Catholicism has its faults-- but it just makes so much more sense to me. To others, it doesn't, but I wasn't taught to hate, condemn or judge anyone when I was growing up. I know other non-Catholic Christians who feel and believe just as I do, but some of these Christian Extremists, as I think that these folks are, exist only to create fear and hate, not love and peace which should be the true message of Christ. I just found myself sitting here perplexed at all the effort these Christians put into these "productions" when they could be doing something so much productive than using scare tactics to evangelize.
Updated: I read later, that the creator of Hell House came from Roswell, NM (I believe) so... it didn't realy come from the bible belt per se.
Thursday, November 1, 2007
All Saints Day...
I've been unintentionally absent from this blog. I have a post that I am still trying to articulate in my head before I actually sit down to write it. I'm just muddling through life and working through a lot of things.
But I continue on my journey back to the Catholic Church. Honestly I don't think I've really been that far away and I've always known that I'd never become any other religion. My non-denominational and evangelical acquaintances (some family and maybe even a few friends) have all invited to me to their churches and services but I usually politely say no thank you, I'm Catholic and not interested. I've never had a negative reaction-- and oddly enough they have not pressured me to come to their church once they discover I'm Catholic.
Lately, I don't know if it's because I've been doing a lot of reading and studying about Catholicism these days-- (as I'm writing a story which is turning out to be very, very heavy on the Catholicism. I hope it's not heavy handed, preachy and not overly religious because that's not the story I planned to tell. But when you make a main character have a brother who is a priest, some of that inevitably comes out. I really hope my story is rational and that someone who isn't Catholic can read it and enjoy it) -- and I've also become quite aware of all the anti-Catholicism out there. I really grew up in an unique place. Most of my peers were Hispanic and Catholic and so I never felt any animosity based on my ethnic background or religion, but with the Internet times are a changing.
Also, I've discovered that there are a lot of Catholics (I think maybe a small percentage) that I just can't agree with or understand. I won't deny that I'm liberal politically and socially. I'm pragmatic and try to see the world with eyes wide open. I'm not saying that a lot of Catholics don't, but sometimes, when I see or read something so conservative, so utterly "evangelical-like" or ludicrous my mind boggles. I'm totally not making any sense and will have to come back and think these thoughts through.
Nonetheless, the Internet is an interesting place. I'm leaving this a bit cryptic and will save my thoughts for another time-- however, I wonder if I could be comfortable worshiping in a Catholic church/parish/diocese that isn't like my own?
But I continue on my journey back to the Catholic Church. Honestly I don't think I've really been that far away and I've always known that I'd never become any other religion. My non-denominational and evangelical acquaintances (some family and maybe even a few friends) have all invited to me to their churches and services but I usually politely say no thank you, I'm Catholic and not interested. I've never had a negative reaction-- and oddly enough they have not pressured me to come to their church once they discover I'm Catholic.
Lately, I don't know if it's because I've been doing a lot of reading and studying about Catholicism these days-- (as I'm writing a story which is turning out to be very, very heavy on the Catholicism. I hope it's not heavy handed, preachy and not overly religious because that's not the story I planned to tell. But when you make a main character have a brother who is a priest, some of that inevitably comes out. I really hope my story is rational and that someone who isn't Catholic can read it and enjoy it) -- and I've also become quite aware of all the anti-Catholicism out there. I really grew up in an unique place. Most of my peers were Hispanic and Catholic and so I never felt any animosity based on my ethnic background or religion, but with the Internet times are a changing.
Also, I've discovered that there are a lot of Catholics (I think maybe a small percentage) that I just can't agree with or understand. I won't deny that I'm liberal politically and socially. I'm pragmatic and try to see the world with eyes wide open. I'm not saying that a lot of Catholics don't, but sometimes, when I see or read something so conservative, so utterly "evangelical-like" or ludicrous my mind boggles. I'm totally not making any sense and will have to come back and think these thoughts through.
Nonetheless, the Internet is an interesting place. I'm leaving this a bit cryptic and will save my thoughts for another time-- however, I wonder if I could be comfortable worshiping in a Catholic church/parish/diocese that isn't like my own?
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