Friday, February 13, 2009

What's the Excuse Now?

I had all these great plans for my spiritual health and as well as my physical well being, but I can't seem to get started. January flew by with the best of my intentions to incorporate all these things back into my life, but the three weeks that I was dealing with my dad, while he got over the virus pretty handily, it was other stuff that kept knocking me down. At this point, my prayer life is practically non-existent, my spiritual growth is at a standstill and I haven't been to the gym since before Christmas.

I love all these activities. I find pleasure in each thing that I do, but I find I can't even seem to find the motivation or the desire to pick them up again. My rosary, Christian Prayer, and a few other books sit on my night table unopened or unused. It's not that I don't have the time to sit quietly and pray or read, I have plenty of that. I'm not having a spiritual crisis, dark night or even a feeling that I am distant from God, though I might be right now. I am certain of His prescence in my life and I don't even doubt my faith, but I feel so detached right now.

For some inexplicable reason, I cannot make myself put aside the least amount of time to pursue any of these activities. I need to exercise both physically and spiritually but I'd rather just put it off for another day. I could certainly spent less time online. I always manage to find things that I enjoy that are offline. I certainly have a lot of time invested in blogging, chatting and this new found amusement with Facebook. It's not that these things are bad. I enjoy them but how many times can a person refresh her LJ friend's list a day before it becomes way too much? An addiction perhaps?

I suppose I feel slightly better that some of the blogs I read and communities I spend reading are Catholic/Christian related. And fortunately, the blogosphere has been pretty calm and mellow these days.

At least I'm getting back to my writing. I'm trying to make that a my focus while everything else seems a bit awry. I do have some Catholic writing/story observations to make as well.

Also, I am looking forward to Lent. Perhaps I'll get my spiritual life back on track by then.

I did not stage that photograph either.


Garpu said...

I'm feeling kind of dry, too. Maybe some way we can inspire each other?

Maria said...

Maybe we can. I finally got caught up on our bible reading assignment for our LJ bible study.

Surely we can come up with something that will inspire us.

At least I haven't been lax on my Mass attendance. That still manages to fill some of the void I've been feeling otherwise.