Thursday, September 25, 2008


So once upon a time, I was feeling terribly lonely and terribly upset about it. What, with being human, it's only natural that every now and then we let our feelings of loneliness and am emptiness get the best of us. For me, the most recent bout of loneliness and the irrational fears wrapped up all around me as a blanket, was hormonally charged, as my period came a few days later, but still, the feelings were mighty real and truly troubling. An online acquaintance, hopefully a friend one day, suggested I read a The Inner Voice of Love, by Henri Nouwen, a Dutch priest, who wrote about his own personal struggles. This was a personal journal for him and I've been working through it slowly, rather randomly. In the beginning he writes:

These spiritual imperatives are meant to be like salt for the meal of your life. Too much salt might spoil it, but a little a time might make it tasty!

And that's my approach to reading it. This passage, which I read today, really summed up how I was feeling that day. I didn't read it then, as I hadn't purchased the book yet. But now that I have it, I have found some soothing and comforting words through his experiences of heartache, pain and his own inner-bouts with anguish and darkness.

The end of the chapter titled "Live Patiently with the Not Yet" hit me poignantly. I wish I'd had seen it a few weeks back when I needed to see/hear/read those words from someone else.

Be Patient. When you feel lonely, stay with your loneliness. Avoid the temptation to let your fearful self run off. Let it teach you its wisdom; let it tell you that you can live instead of just surviving. Gradually you will become one, and you will find that Jesus is living in your heart and offering you all you need.

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