Tuesday, June 24, 2008
I'm not going to... no... I can't...
The second thing, I think I'm going to try to explore a new idea for a new blog. I was talking to someone at the office and an idea came to me. It will focus less on my personal thoughts and observations, but more on historical and cultural observations. Some of which I've already done in this blog but I see it more of a tourist guide to Catholic New Mexico-- for a lack of better descriptor right now. I may not go very far with it, but I'm going to play around with it and see what emerges.
Ack... now I must get moving, as I have a date to go to the gym and then I should go to the office. See what happens when the office meeting is canceled? I get lazy. Oh, like I need an excuse for that.
Monday, June 23, 2008
Circles in My Head
So I ask myself the question:
What is Catholic Fiction?
Is it fiction about Catholics, Catholic themes, characters, etc.? I think that's someone else's answer but I will ponder it.
And do I write it?
I must admit that is one of my worries. I don't know why I worry if my stories are "too Catholic". Should it matter? Does it exclude readers by the nature of my themes, characters and plots? Am I limiting myself to a certain niche or genre? I must admit that all my stories have Catholic characters and themes, but until I started writing my second novel, I never thought I was writing Catholic Fiction. I barely just learned there was a whole genre of Christian Fiction, Catholic Fiction must be a niche within that genre.
Anyway, readers who read my first novel will see that my main character is a product of her Catholic background, but it's not a major theme of the story. She's not practicing, to the dismay of her parents. She baptizes and educates her child in the faith, but it's not strong within her. I don't quite no why. I also don't think she will ever have an epiphany and return to the church (in the story) maybe in later life. My stories never really end, they keep playing on in my head. She truly is the definition of a Cultural Catholic and a product of where she was raised. She's a Hispanic New Mexican-- where Catholicism and Catholic culture are intricately tied together.
In my second story, the circumstances are different. It is Catholic. It is about Catholics. It's actually been the story that has helped me journey back to the faith and has helped me figure out exactly what it means to me.
In looking at my novels so far, perhaps they are Catholic. I hope more so in an universal way, touching upon themes that are common to everyone, that the stories are realistic and my characters are truly fleshed out and human. I want to touch someone with my writing, be it Catholics and non-Catholics alike. I want to show people a world that rings true and opens their eyes to a world they might never see otherwise.
And maybe I'm not a writer who happens to be Catholic, but a Catholic writer. Of course, then the next question I might need to ask, do I write Hispanic fiction. Oy.
Say What You Need to Say

I recently answered a question about the Loretto Chapel and the miraculous staircase at the Catholic Online forum. Someone from Albuquerque chimed in and filled in the rest of the answer.
(image credit: Loretto Chapel in Santa Fe, NM. Photo by camerafiend.)
There is a lot of outrage felt by people that the chapel no longer belongs to the archdiocese. It's interesting that this contempt comes from Catholics who don't live here. I guess we have gotten over our anger about the whole thing 35+ years ago when it happened. I'd love for it to come back to the archdiocese one day and maybe it will.
I googled something unrelated and stumbled upon this article, which is the reason for this post. Anyway, near the end is a tidbit about Lamy and La Conquistadora, which was what I was searching.
"Even the beautiful shrine of La Conquistadora, by which Bishop Lamy paid homage not only to Our Lady, but also to the glory of the Spanish Catholic “conquest” of New Spain, was removed from its place of prominence in his ancient Cathedral dedicated to Christ the King."

I love the spin of that statement. First off, Lamy's Cathedral is far from ancient. In the grand scheme of things, it's new. It's not even 200 years old. She was moved into the original part of the church, which wasn't destroyed in the revolt, to the old chapel, which is nearly 400 years old. That's where she belongs. She's part of our Spanish Catholic Culture, History and Tradition, most of which, Lamy came here to squash.
I don't have a positive opinion of Archbishop Lamy. I need to find objective source material about him before I solidify my opinion of the man. I think he did a lot of good while he was here, but it was at the expense of others and possibly to the detriment of others.
Again... I need to do my research. I think a huge Catholic project is stirring my head anyway.
Sunday, June 22, 2008
My Two Pesos... they're not worth much
We have 400 years of Catholic history, tradition and culture in New Mexico. The Spanish adopted and blended their culture with the native cultures. Spanish culture was pretty much a mix of all the culture of the people who settled in Spain and it was brought to New Mexico where it thrived for hundreds of years. The Culture and the Faith are intricately intertwined here. Still, there has long been a history of multiculturalism here and it's reflected in the practice of the faith here.
So, when I read comments from somewhere else, where the person making the comment has no historical perspective, it really bugs me. I'm not the self-appointed defender or anything of the archdiocese, the archbishop or Catholicism here in NM, but it is really sad to see all the negative comments, judgments and harsh criticisms. One thing about Northern New Mexicans is that we're very protective of our people, our culture and our church. We can be very insulated. As a norm, we are very tolerant and welcoming, but when our way of life or one of our own is insulted, threatened or offended, we get defensive. I suppose that's why I'm trying to write this post.
Granted in the first case, the comments were made by people who don't live here, and have family here and are reacting to what they've "heard" not necessarily experienced. The blog comment was probably someone who does live here and was entitled to his/her opinion and sad to say, it doesn't reflect my experiences, and my cousin's Mass experience was made by someone who was just rude.
I think in the grand scheme of things, the archdiocese is in capable hands. I think it's doing quite well actually. The finances are in order, parishes aren't closing, I believe churches are being built, we have people filling the pews. I'm sure there are many pews empty on Sundays too. Yes, we need more vocations and more priests, but we seem to have a good crop of seminarians. I'm not sure where we stand in comparison to other arch/dioceses around the country. In a 2007 report, we were ranked #6 as a whole-- so something is going right here. There were three men ordained to the priesthood last month, there seem to be three thriving Latin Mass communities, who knows if many others will emerge.
Oh yeah... I forget we're a "liberal" archdiocese. You can't judge our archdiocese or compare it another one half-way across the country, but obviously some people do. Ugh.
How Do You Do???
I stumbled onto a post on a blog and found a comment that just bugged me. I find a lot of comments made by Traditional Catholics (I hate labels. Do Catholics have to define themselves with labels, such as Traditional, Orthodox, Liberal, Conservative, good, bad etc.? Aren't we all Catholics? And why do we have to use political terms to define ourselves? I'm a political liberal, so naturally I'm a liberal catholic? I don't think it works that way. I've always thought I was Catholic.
My feelings about the Church can't be put into liberal/conservative categories. I question things plenty. Do I think women should be ordained priests? No. The idea of a women in Persona Christi troubles me. It's hard for me, as a feminist to admit that and it surprised me that I feel so strongly about it. Yes, I think women and men are equal and can do the same jobs. The priesthood isn't a job. It's a vocation and it's a vocation open to men only.
Do I think priests should be allowed to marry? No-- not after ordination. Do I think married men should be ordained? Maybe yes, maybe no. Definitely yes for the men who convert from other faiths and are allowed ordination under the pastoral provision. We have many married priests coming from Episcopal and Lutheran backgrounds. Our archbishop ordained the archdiocese's first married man this summer, so, yes, in that case I support it heartily. I'm not not sure if it would work for the church as a whole. It seems to work in Eastern Catholic, who are part of Rome and the Orthodox Churches not in Communion with Rome, but in the whole Latin Rite church, hard to say.
Do I oppose altar girls? No. Would I want my daughter to be one? Maybe. Only if she could understand that she would never be allowed to be a priest, but that there are other roles women can do in the church.
I would welcome an edict from Rome that says communion must always been received from a priest or a deacon and on the tongue. Probably, though, I don't think it would matter to me either way. However, I usually receive in my hand, but I am comfortable with receiving it on the tongue as well. If I can avoid going to an EM, I do and go to the priest or a deacon. I remember being told as a child in catechism we cannot chew the host, so I don't. I try to keep my hands by side during the whole Mass, but will hold hands during the "Our Father" as I generally like it.
Catholics need to remember we are all different people, but we are one united in and by the Church. We are one body and we need to accept and embrace each other, not distance or reject one another.
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
It's the Moon... It's the Moon.
Above: The full Moon beams through trees in Manchester, Maryland. Credit: Edmund E. Kasaitis. Copyright 2008; all rights reserved.NASA Article Here.
Crazy People Are Everywhere
While, I wouldn't say that it's the norm, but there have been a few insensitive remarks made about Catholics and Catholicism. There is no dispute that many evils were done in the name of the Christianity. There have been many evils done to the Church as well. You cannot deny all the good the Church has done in the past and continues to do so, however, this is usually not what this list is about. I'm tired of 2000 years of Church History being painted by the brush that is the Black Legend. Still, I usually take them in stride and not get offended, especially when it comes from the historical Jewish perspective. More than likely some of my ancestors when they settled in New Mexico were probably Sephardic Jews or Conversos.
However, when the commentary comes comes from the usual Evangelical/Former Ex-Bitter Catholic types, and that's when it gets offensive. There was recently a post on the list defending, yes defending Pastor John Hagee. Of course he was called a good example of a Christian, so I said... hello, he's the one who offended the Catholic Church, he had the audacity to say Hitler was doing God's work by getting the Jews to return to Israel. Uh... remember the Holocaust people? Hilter killed millions of Jews. If he wanted them to go to Israel because God willed it, why didn't he just send them there? Oh it didn't exist yet. Modern Israel was established after the war. Anyway, two people cited him (Hagee) as being a good Christian for all his good work on behalf of the Jewish people and Israel. I was troubled when I read that. When I cited the Hagee comments, I was asked to define a good Christian. Well, I certainly wouldn't consider Hagee or those like him who spread the same ilk of intolerance, hatred and moral judgment Good Christians. A good Christian wouldn't decry that Hurricane Katrina happened because God was upset that there was going to be a gay-pride parade the next week. That's almost as bad as blaming 9-11 on the feminists, liberals etc.
Sunday, June 15, 2008
La Conquistadora
Hard to believethat another year's Novena in honor of La Conquistadora has come to an end and that it's already been a month since it ended. (I wrote this post a month later but backdated it.) For approximately, 300 years, the faithful of Santa Fe have been making this novena in Thanksgiving. (see links on sidebar for some history. I've yet to put it all together in my own words.) I've compiled the links to the posts I made with my own reflections of the day. I posted pictures as well and they are listed below. I hope you enjoy getting a taste of what makes my Catholic Faith so special to me.
It always begins with Vespers at the Cathedral, then the procession follows and we wait for the First Mass to begin the next morning at 6 a.m.
My First Thoughts after the First Mass of the Novena.
A Beautiful Day, reflections after the Second Mass.
It's almost like touching a bit of heaven. Thoughts after the Third Mass
The Fourth Mass
Pictures from the Fifth Mass of the Novena and My Thoughts About faith and peace after the Fifth Mass
Reflections on the Sixth Mass
Giving Thanks To God, reflections after the Seventh Mass
Procession back to the Cathedral and the 8th Mass of the Novena.
Lastly, the 9th Mass at the Cathedral. As beautiful as it is, it's sad because it's over for another year.
That's it for 2008.
And now for a few grumpy thoughts and part of why I compiled this directory post of sorts.
The other night I stumbled on a very critical post about my hometown's beloved statue of the Blessed Mother and it kind of pissed me off and I can go on and on about why, but that is not what this post is all about. I probably will write a post in response later, when I'm not so pissed. I'd make a comment on her blog, but the post was over a year old and I don't think it's worth the effort. Needless to say, why is it that people who know nothing about Catholicism, its history, traditions and culture, and no very little about New Mexico history feel compelled to make a comment about something they don't understand? She claimed to be a Christian, but I didn't find anything charitable or Christian about her commentary. Maybe others will want to learn something after seeing these posts.I hope that if people stumble upon this blog and see these entries about La Conquistadora, they'll have a better understanding of why she's so important to the people of New Mexico and why she truly is Our Lady of Peace.
In case anyone wanders over to this post, the 2009 entries are here.
Saturday, June 14, 2008
Tim Russert, RIP
This was a nice piece about one meeting with the pope. And Sister Mary Martha had a lovely tribute to him in her blog last night.
Though She's Still, Life Moves Around Her
The last day was at the Cathedral. The Archbishop celebrated the Mass and it was over for the year. Only one picture today. I love this shot. I got several good ones that final day of Mass but I think this one with the people moving in the background sums it up for me.

While for just a short period of time we celebrate this Novena, life continues on afterward just as it did before. I'm probably too tired to really sum up my thoughts or articulate them well.
Now, if I can only get the words Cordero de Dios out of my head, I'll be most relieved. Oh man... I'm going to Mass tomorrow. All I have to say about that is: Ten Piedad De Nostros.
Thursday, June 12, 2008
Dios Te Salve Maria

With the end of the Novena, a profound sadness over came me. I can't really describe why I felt the way I did but I did. So, to pick up where things left off on Sunday. As the Sunday before, there was a procession late in the afternoon. I was able to get a few pictures of La Conquistadora while she awaited the procession back to the Cathedral.

Two Members of the Confradia de La Conquistadora stand guard and protect her, while we all have one last opportunity to see her close up before she is returned to her chapel in the Cathedral Basilica, where she's kept from harm.

As a participant in the procession back, I must admit I did not take any photos. I think next year, I'll take pictures as the procession begins and then catch up with my parish to walk solemnly on the journey to and from. I will definitely continue to participate in this novena and both processions.

The parishes start arriving. The journey is about a mile and a half.
Following the arrival of La Conquistadora, the Eight Mass was celebrated with the archbishop as the celebrant.

Her arrival was bittersweet because the last two Masses are held at the Cathedral, and while Mass at the Cathedral is beautiful, it just doesn't feel the same as it does in the little Rosario Chapel. It also means that the Novena is nearing its end and we won't come together for another year to celebrate this annual tradition. However, it's the beginning of the the summer and will culminate at the end of Fiestas with the candlelight procession to the Cross of the Martyrs.
Monday, June 9, 2008
Always Remember

The end of the novena always brings about a bit of sadness. It’s truly a wondrous week. Words cannot describe the magic of those 6 am mornings. While grand and beautiful in and of itself, the Cathedral Basilica can’t capture that in the morning. The sunshine, the spirit and joy that fill the little chapel is immense. Surrounded by faith and the majesty of the Blessed Mother, you do feel closer to her Son during this week. Sometimes it feels like it gets a bit lost in the grandness of the Cathedral. Because while we spend the week venerating her, talking about her Greatness, her Grace and her piety and her total surrender to God, it’s with that, we recognize the Greatness, the Glory and the Goodness of her Son. We as Catholic Christians should emulate her as best we can. It’s a feeling that I really can’t explain, it’s one that surprises me. While I witness this great faith, I still sometimes feel like I’m looking at it from the outside. I didn’t grow up with a strong faith. I don’t really remember when my family lapsed from the Church. The little that I learned, the history of the Church and my Catholic faith, I learned from the Christian Brothers (and lay teachers) at Catholic school. It was then, when I probably learned the most, and probably didn’t learn as much had I grown up in a home where we truly practiced and lived the faith everyday. My parents are Catholics, they believe, but they haven’t always been practicing. I don’t remember Sundays spent in church, I don’t remember being on my knees for three hours for Good Friday, I had never gone to a Holy Thursday service, I had never done the Stations of the Cross, nor participated in the any of the religious processions of my community. This year, I did all those things and was so totally overwhelmed and enriched spiritually, I will never miss them again. Hell, I didn’t even know this novena existed until my friend encouraged me to come with her last year. I'm ever going to be grateful to her for opening my eyes up to something so beautiful and so wonderful.
We didn’t pray the rosary at home, just at funerals and I always remember the words “our death amen” running together at the end. It always scared me a little to hear those words over and over and over. Now, when I say the rosary, I say the prayer slowly, surely and don’t find myself uttering our death amen as one jumbled monosyllabic phrase. I take the whole phrase and find comfort in those words.
I have a whole world of anxiety, worry and stress running through my head these days. I’m full of self-doubt, insecurity and I wouldn’t say despair, but I’m feeling a bit weary. Maybe it’s impatience and frustration. Despite all this, I would say I’m a happy person, but have a huge cynical and jaded side. I’m just beginning to doubt if my dreams will come true.
Early this morning I woke up in fits from a nightmare. I know it’s anxiety based and I have worries that have troubled me for a while and I know I should stop trying to put them aside and I should deal with them before it’s too late. In the dream I was trying to figure out how and if God talks to people. In it, I was talking to a priest at my church. I’ve been wanting to talk to one of the priests at my church about something on my mind so maybe that’s why he popped into my dream. He was himself in the dream and I asked him if he thought God talked to people in their dreams, or if it was just my anxiety stressing me out. I really wanted an answer. I don’t think he offered me any real words of wisdom—I don’t quite remember what he said to me—but there he was standing there offering some sort of comfort. Still it’s a bit disconcerting when I start dreaming about a priest from my parish.
The faith that I have, it’s still a bit shaky. I know why as Catholics, we do the things we do in Mass, and just how important the Eucharist is. I understand its significance and what it means to us as Catholics. I am even willing to believe by the priest’s words and actions, the bread and wine to change into the Body and Blood of Jesus. I can believe this because I believe God exists and because I believe that, I believe all things are possible. It’s one of those things my non-believing and my non-Catholic friends can’t understand or comprehend. I often wonder what think of me knowing what I believe—do they know truly what I believe? Have I lived my life by that example? I surely hope I have.
I think choosing to become or remain a Catholic is not always easy. I know for me, returning to the Church has made me think differently about many things as well. While I’m not a Traditionalist Catholic, I’m not a Call to Action type of Catholic either. While I’m politically a liberal, I’m spiritually more conservative. I see beauty in the Latin Mass but I prefer the ordinary form of my parish. I wouldn’t be upset if receiving Communion in the hands was disallowed. I also prefer to receive from a priest or a deacon, but sometimes there truly is a need for Eucharistic Ministers. I’m ok with hand holding during the Our Father, but sometimes I prefer not to and often it’s a mood thing and I often sit alone so I don’t have to. I can take or leave all the hand gestures though. I don’t like liturgical dancing, but I try not to be uncharitable so I don’t say anything. There are people who do like it, so why ruin it for them? I like the sign of peace, the unity of community and faith that is expressed is a nice feeling. I don’t mind it when the priest tells a joke or banters with us in the pews. While he’s a priest, specially chosen and consecrated by his ordination, he still is a human and it’s nice to see that side of him. It helps make him more approachable when we need him for something serious.
I believe the Church is timeless and that She will prevail, but I think if I stopped going to Mass on Sundays, it would be easy to pull away again. While I believe, I’m not sure if I’m strong enough to hold on. I struggle to pray. It’s not something that is easy for me. I can’t say I don’t know how, but I don’t know if my prayers are fruitful enough. I know God answers all prayers but that he doesn’t always answer them how we want them answered. He’s not some great Magic Genie in the sky granting our wishes to come true. He’s not Santa Claus or a vending machine full of things we want and can buy for $1. I think He’s elusive, enigmatic and knows what we want but he gives us what we need. At least I’d like to hope so. Maybe for that I pray. I suppose if it’s His will, what we desire most will come to be. I also know we can’t sit around and wait for those things to come to us just by sitting here and waiting either. We have to make an effort and try ourselves and pray that it’s His will for us. I think will can find strength and courage in and through God.
And today the archbishop said in his homily that we should always remember to give thanks to God, especially for the little things we forget. We always remember the grief, the sadness and heartache, but tend to forget about the good, like a glorious day, a much needed rainstorm, a kind word, a gentle touch and a loving gesture. Those he said we should try to remember, to write down… it’s important not to forget and to remember that All Good Things come from God. Now if only I can learn patience.
Sunday, June 8, 2008
Gloria a Dios in El Cielo
Just a quick update. Mass was gorgeous. It was the last morning Mass at the chapel. The choir from the Cathedral Basilica is amazing. It was asked to perform at Carnegie Hall last fall. So, today the music was incredible. The children's choir sang part of the Magnificat in Latin. They sounded lovely.
So... a few pics.


Maybe a more fleshed out post later. It's strange not to be getting ready for 11:30 Mass at my parish. As I went this morning I met my Sunday obligation and will have to go again tonight for the 8th Mass. I think my soul will be ok by missing Mass at my regular parish. I took over today's readings for my mom earlier because she likes to read along, and I also gave her my envelope with my offering, so technically I'll be th ere in spirit. Besides, I think perhaps the priest at my church probably saw me at Mass in the mornings. He was there almost every day too.
I could really use a nap. Though, I think I'll clean the backyard and relax till the Return Procession this afternoon.
Saturday, June 7, 2008
It Is Really All About Faith.
Today's Parish was Our Lady of Guadalupe. Father said something in his homily that I wanted to remember so I could comment but I'm tired. His homily was about the underground church, he didn't mean so much about the Church in China, North Korea or any of the other places where the Church is persecuted, but here, in our every day lives, in America where we cast it aside from our daily lives for whatever reasons. He also talked about how it is an offense when our mothers are insulted, which he related to the ulitmate offenses and insults to the Blessed Mother. He mentioned that his parish will be traveling to Mexico to pick up a statues of Our Lady of Guadalupe. It will be a pilgrimage of sorts as they're going to take the El Camino Real. he hopes to get some dirt from the shrine from the srhinre there where Our Lady of Guadalupe is kept. It sounds glorious.
Anyway... the Mass was nice, pretty subdued. It needed trumpets. Tomorrow's will probably be as nice as yesterday's. (I don't want to believe another Mass could top yesterday's as it was my parish's turn yesterday.) It will be the Cathedral Basilca's day and the Cathedral has the most amazing choir in the world. Even if only part of the choir shows up, the music will be fabulous.
And now for the pictures. Eventually, I will do a slide show.

