Sort of an Update

This was originally posted at the LJ and I'll probably keep that more updated on Dad's condition and everything else right now.

I feel like I should do a brief little update. After spending the whole day in the ER, he was admitted about 5 and was sleeping when Mom and I went to check on him. He's totally out of it, dazed, delirious and agitated. They have him in the Critical Care Unit so they can keep an eye on him. He has his oxygen pumping, he's got meds going and I think he's finally settled for the night. I really appreciate your thoughts, prayers and kindness. All the tests are negative for anything... organs were fine, and the other blood work was clean, no meningitis... nothing obvious. The doctor thinks it's probably a viral infection or something respiratory, though the chest X-ray didn't show a thing. The CT scan was clear, no bleeding, no signs of any kind of a stroke. He's got equal balance and movement on both sides, so they don't think it was that, not even a mini-stroke. There are no early signs or any kinds of signs of Alzheimer's, so they're stumped right now. He was still agitated and out of it but I hope with antibiotics, fluids, a good night's rest, tomorrow he will be better.

My mother's brother and sister and their spouses have been by to see him and us at the hospital and have been very compassionate. Her family, full of drama, does know how to pull together when needed. I've talked to one of my cousins-- I have two that I've grown really close to in the last year or so-- and am grateful to have them. Tomorrow, we'll call his nieces and nephew, his best friend and anyone else I think we should call. Still, I'm hoping he will be better tomorrow and it's not a phone call of worry and fear. And I'm praying that the doctors figure out what it is. The doctor said that several people roughly his age have been brought in with something very similar, high fevers, confusion and inability to know where they are or what is going on. He also said that we haven't seen a flu outbreak hit-- they tested him for the flu and that came back negative as well. I know he had a flu shot.

The one question they keep asking is if he drinks. He doesn't. I think he might have taken so many meds that's why they ask-- Mom said he was trying to take all of them today and I've mentioned my fears of over-medication before in here. I will sit down with all the bottles of meds and write them down and bring them to the hospital tomorrow. His doctor will be back in town tomorrow as well, so maybe some of this will get cleared up.

We left the hospital about 2:30-3:00. I dropped my mom off at home with the intention of coming back to get her about 4, but I ended up at church for some reason. I had a feeling it would be locked up at that hour. I think after the 11:30 Mass, it empties pretty quick and usually the priests will clear out, especially if it's the pastor, who might have celebrated two or three Masses already. Then at 4 people start coming again for religious ed, choir practice and teen stuff. Anyway, I pulled into the parking lot at the same time as one of the sisters-- who works with the kids. I introduced myself and told her I knew who she was though we had never formally met. She thought I'd come to hlep her with the teen stuff. I told her I'd come to sit quietly and pray. We talked about people we knew and then I told her why I was there at that moment.

I went inside and it was just me alone in this huge, beautiful church. The Christmas decor is still up, there were a few candles burning by the Nativity set that will come down tomorrow-- it's in the place where the Marian shrine is in the church usually. For just a little awhile a wave of peace came over me. I lit a couple of candles, one for my dad and another for everyone else I know who is having medical and health issues right now. When it rains it pours.

For a half an hour, I sat quietly, shared my thoughts with God, or maybe whatever other saint might listen. It was just a quiet moment. I listened to the church bells ring at three and then at three-thirty and no one came in while I was alone in there.

Those of you who regularly read this journal are all so varied in backgrounds, culture and faith and beliefs-- so hopefully this next part makes some sense. I can't explain exactly how or why I ended up back in the church of my youth-- I never stopped believing in God, but I never felt like I needed to have the church to believe. I certainly never wanted to join another religion and I never could wrap my mind around not believing in something bigger than ourselves. But lately, it has been something that has become very important to me and maybe that's why I was compelled to go to the church today. I found comfort there and later, when talking with Sister Colleen, I knew that's where I had to be at that moment. She offered me some wonderful advice. It was nice to have someone I didn't know listen to me and just be there. She picked up on a few things I said the biggest being "only child" and she knew what that meant for me. Maybe she could see something in my face but she told me that I needed to take time alone for me, that while it seemed selfish, I need to do it. And maybe perhaps I already knew this, but hearing her tell me that it was ok to take the time for myself, made me realize that it is ok and that I shouldn't feel guilty, which of course, I always do. Yesterday, I made myself sick over not being there all the time. Still, I know it isn't selfish to take care of my needs as well. She also asked me to leave her a message tomorrow or Tuesday when I know how my dad is feeling.

I am so glad that I ran into her today.

I don't know what else to say... sorry for the rambling. At this point, I think he's ok. I'll know something in the morning and will post an update. I may not answer comments now or even tomorrow but know I appreciate you all very much for your kindness, compassion and thoughtfulness.

Monday:
The fever broke and by morning he was awake, alert, lively and grouchy. They moved him to a regular room. He had plenty of visitors and was doing quite well. I think he's still doing well but then about 7:00 two nurses rushed in worried because they said his heart stopped for 4. 9 seconds. There was nothing to indicate that had happened. He was eating dinner talking with my mom, me and my two cousins. Nothing! It was puzzling. Then my aunt and uncle arrived and he was fine. So, it was onto another room in the progressive care unit. He was all right last night, which puzzles me so much.

Today- Tuesday:
I haven't gone to the hospital yet. I'm so tired. I'm going to thrown on some clothes and go as soon as I finish this and my half-soggy cereal.

I'd like to see the doctor today. I suppose I could leave a message for him.