Giving up on finding love. Again. I don't think he's the one, at least not in the way Shakira sings about the one. Still, I liked him. I really liked him too. But I guess as the Iguanas say, I moved too slow. He can date someone else and I'm not going to wait around for him. I'm not going to be his second choice. I'm also not looking for a friend, so I will move on. Another lesson learned. Maybe in time, True Love will find me in the end, but right now, I'm not going to worry about it, nor listen to sappy pop music. I'll stick with sad, Lucinda Williams, (though her latest song is happy.) I usually over-think things and don't want to rehash this over and over in my head. It's not worth it.
(Update) Well, I'm still here and I'm feeling a bit better. I can see why so many of the saints realized that Jesus was all they needed. It used to seem so hard for me to imagine that, but maybe I wasn't quite sure what it meant to really love Jesus and let Him be all that I need especially right now. At least I don't think He'll break my heart. Unfortunately, it's not First Friday, because I really wish I hadn't missed it two weeks ago. There is a parish in town with 24 hour a day Adoration, but I've never been there and am not comfortable going all the way across town in the middle of the night even if it is just to go sit and be with Jesus for a while.
Speaking of Adoration-- I was looking for a segue to talk about this. I've only really discovered the amazing experience of spending an hour or two in presence of Jesus. As I'm still trying to work out what kind of prayer works best for me and I'm not quite sure what I should do while I'm in Adoration half the time, I just sit there quietly. I try to keep my thoughts on our Lord and what he did for us by dying on the Cross. I try to think about His life, his teachings and his words while I sit there. Sometimes, other thoughts creep in and I ask him to help me work through those things. Even so, by just being there, with the Blessed Sacrament is a comfort. Knowing that Jesus is present is soothing.
I know it's a devotion that Non-Catholic Christians don't necessarily understand, but it's a way that I think if they could experience it, even for just a moment, they too would probably feel the overwhelming sense of God present in our lives.
Watch Fr. Jim Martin's video, he's much better at talking about this than I am. This is another in his prayer series posted over at In All Things, the America Magazine blog.
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