This isn't a rant about the Bishops declaring who may or may not receive Communion. I try very hard not to judge someone's worthiness to receive. I try to refrain from judging the bishops as they make their statements these days either. I may not agree, but it's not my place to judge them or the people who present themselves for Communion. I don't know what's in their heart and am not worthy to make that judgment either. I think Catholics, at least those versed in the faith, should know if they are in a State of Grace and should be able to deem themselves worthy to receive and should know better than to judge others.
Still, having said that, why does it bother me so much that someone I know, a friend, who left the Catholic Church many years ago, who occasionally goes to Mass presents herself for Communion? I know she doesn't believe it's the actual Body and Blood of Christ, we've talked about it before. She takes communion in her church and when she attends Mass, she receives anyway. I had a voice mail this morning that how wonderful the "sherry" was this morning. She says she wants to come back to the Catholic Church so I told her about this wonderful sacrament we have called "Confession" and she'd need to make one before receiving Communion again. She was dismissive and said she didn't think the Church did it anymore.
I don't know why I let this bother me. However, I refrain from receiving Communion if I know I'm in a state of Mortal Sin. I want to be able to instill this to the children I teach in Catechism. I had wanted to go to Confession yesterday so that I could go to Communion at Mass. I told this to my neighbor hoping she'd refrain if we went to Mass together last night, but I didn't go to Confession or Mass and she went to Mass this morning.
I keep committing the same old mortal sins over and over. I am trying not to though. Quite honestly, I don't think I'll ever fully be able to refrain from breaking commandments 2, 4, and 10. Oh an add not being charitable to one's neighbor too. I'm not being literal with my actual neighbor, but sometimes, yes.. I know we have the Gift of Reconciliation (that's the name of our Catechism book for the kids) and if I don't utilize it, how can I teach the children to appreciate it? So... it's my personal and spiritual goal to go to Confession more regularly. Perhaps as the new liturgical year starts, I can make that a sort of resolution.
In other news, I think I'm finally getting back on track with prayer. I've prayed Compline a bit more often. I think it's probably my favorite part of the Office, though I usually only pray morning and evening prayers and sometimes I only manage only one of those during the day. Still the words of night prayer are just so comforting especially just before going to bed.
How can a person not find comfort and consolation with the words from the responsory:
Into your hands, Lord, I commend my spirit, alleluia.And from the antiphon:
Protect us, Lord, as we stay awake, watcher over us as we sleep, that awake we may keep watch with Christ and asleep, rest in his peace.And then to conclude with:
May the all-powerful Lord grant us a restful night and a peaceful death.
Now, I should probably change to leave for Mass, as I've spent more time composing this post than I should have.